Monday, February 14, 2011

The Art of Apologizing-1 Corinthians 6:1-11; Romans 6:6; Luke 9:23

Good morning everyone,
Yesterday evening was a real treat because I was able to be included in our 'home builders meeting' via skype.  A few technical issues but because of modern technology, including a cell phone, we were able to pull it off.  For any of you who don't know what home builders is, let me explain.  Ever other weekend on Sunday afternoon, Deborah and I have had the distinct pleasure of facilitating a couples group on building stronger marriages.  We are covering a book on 'The Five Languages of Apology'.  Because I think it is so important not only for couples, and because I feel apology is one of the hardest things for humans to do, I would like to give you a summation of what we discussed and maybe it will help you.  When you apologize from the heart, you crucify the issue to the cross!  The conclusion to an apology is 'I was wrong;' 'Can you please forgive me?'  When you ask for forgiveness and admit that you were wrong, you are turning away from that wrong and essentially asking Jesus for mercy whether or not the person forgives you.  We specifically talked about expressing regret.  'Expressing Regret' is the Apology Language that zeros in on emotional hurt.  It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person.  For those who listen for 'Expressing Regret' apologies, a simple 'I'm sorry' is all they look for.  There is no need for explanation or 'pay back' provided the apology has truly come from the heart.  Expressing regret is a powerful Apology language because it gets right to the point.  It doesn't make excuses or attempt to deflect blame.  Above all, 'Expressing Regret' takes ownership of the wrong.  For that reason, 'Expressing Regret' is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship.  It speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language.  Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.  We all are prone to saying things or doing something that is hurtful to other people.  Afterall, we are human!  Romans 6:6 says it best!  We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  Don't delay what you need to do any longer.  Go to your brother or sister and ask for forgiveness!  You don't need to carry that baggage any longer and the freedom you will feel will be 'life saving!'
Your brother in Christ,

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